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The People We All Hate

It doesn’t matter whether I’m just going for a walk, sitting in a café or at home, or you’re actually part of the traffic. There is one sound I hate so much, I couldn’t process another human being not hating this sound; honking.

But before I go on about my rage, I have to say that I am aware that honks have different meanings in different countries. For instance, I spent 6 months traveling through Vietnam. Honking there is like signaling, it lets all the other drivers know where you are and what you’re about to do. The response to those honks is usually the one you want, they move to the side. I don’t know how the Vietnamese did it, but they figured it out. Other countries probably have similar takes on honking, however I don’t know them so I won’t talk about them.

So because honking in Vietnam means: “Hey, I’m here” or “I’m going to overtake you, watch out.” it didn’t turn out to be a problem for those 6 months. What it did do was magnify my hatred for honking once I came back to Germany.

Germans are simple people. They are precise and want to be on time, and they believe that if they are right, they are right. So imagine this, a German knows his route to work takes exactly 18 minutes and he needs to be there at 9:00. So the German leaves at precisely 8:42, because in Germany it is also very rude to be too early. However our German shouldn’t have a problem, because he left at just the right time. Well, life hits him with a curveball and there’s traffic, because guess what, he isn’t the only one who needs to get somewhere at 9:00. Therefore traffic is created, which creates stress, which translates into road rage and ultimately into… honking.

Another thing is, Germany has areas on the freeway, without speed limits, and people abuse these. I know people who, without a doubt in their mind, will drive over 400 km/h, and those are just people I know. The government has been trying to limit all freeways to 130 km/h for quite some time now, since it’s loud, unnecessary, reckless and bad for the environment. However the car lobby in Germany is not too different to the gun lobby in the US, cars make a shit ton of money, so fuck it, let’s drive.

This kind of mindset, creates but one meaning for the German honk: “Fuck you”. But not any old “Fuck you” will do. I wholeheartedly believe that there aren’t enough “Fuck’s” in the world to do a German “Fuck you”-honk justice. So why do I hate honks so much? I don’t think there is a more useless and worthless form to express your hatred towards another human being. Plus you bother everybody else around you as well.

However there is hope. I recently saw a Fiat Panda not immediately driving along as the road signal turned green, and to no one's surprise, the old man in the old timer honked at him. However when I saw the old man’s face I saw such calmness, which to me means his goal was to simply notify the driver in front of him that he was hindering the traffic, and honestly how else are you going to do it? Sadly though the guy in the Fiat Panda immediately put up his middle finger as he drove away.

Why do I tell you all this, because they’re my thoughts. BYE.

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