I’m one of those people who want to become a writer, yet the last thing you’ll ever see me do apparently is sit down and actually write. My format would have to be screenplays. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been in love with movies. When I was 6, I rewatched an old tape on stop-motion filmmaking I got from my grandpa so many times, I thought it was a whole series. Yeah… I’m not the brightest kid.
Anyhow I felt like I had to figure out a way to improve my writing skills. Then it dawned on me, every morning I wake up, get myself a cup of coffee and I write my “morning pages”. They’re the first thoughts I have that day. 3 pages of longhand writing I do not wish upon my worst enemy. Initially I began writing them because I read on Masterclass that they would help me develop my very own writing style. As you can read, they’ve been very helpful. However, luckily for me, over time they turned out to become a sort of therapy. The day I write them my head feels clear, and on the days my bed somehow imprisons me and I have no time to write them my head feels foggy. Now this could just be because of superstition or the placebo effect, or writing might actually help me. The same way it would probably help anyone.
Well I promised something would dawn on me, and here it goes. It was one of those moments you have on your commute or any kind of position where you feel like you have to move, but you can’t because you’re already going somewhere. Does that make sense? “Evening pages”, that’s what dawned on me. I’ve been writing morning pages for a little over a year now. Again, not the brightest kid. Anyways, I always want to keep going after a session of my “therapy”, but the rules are very strict. They’re really not, not at all actually, but hey they said 3 pages and that’s the way my brain is wired.
After a while I asked myself: “Should I write a blog?” At first I patted myself on the bag and gave myself a nobel prize, and when I was ready to give my speech, the doubts started to kick in. Right on schedule. “What are people going to think?”, “What if I run out of things to write about?” and probably the biggest doubt of all “Who cares what I have to write?” So I slammed my laptop shut and gave up on the idea. This all happened in a timespan of about 3 hours maybe, tops. However, then I remembered this book I read “The Philosophy of an Explorer” by Erling Kagge, in which he reveals 16 life lessons he obtained from surviving the Extreme. The fourth “revelation” is named “Don’t Fear Your Own Greatness”. In the book he basically explains that the doubts you have shortly before achieving something, are actually just your fear of actually being something of worth. As you’ve probably already guessed, I definitely feel like I’m some sort of god, so I followed his advice. I began writing down my doubts and answering them. “Who cares what other people think, I'm hiding behind my laptop.”, “I never have any problems with my morning pages. If push comes to shove, I’ll just use them for inspiration.” and as for the last doubt: “I write for myself.”
Sooo should I write a blog? No, but fuck it.
Oh and by the way, I just used advice a guy obtained by either climbing Mount Everest or fighting a polar bear or some other freakish insane thing… to start a blog.